Noordam to Rome - April 2013

       The Noordam to Rome...April 2013

As I say about every cruise...This was the BEST of ALL.
Follow me on this adventure and see if y'don't agree. And remember, you were invited along to join us. Well, maybe next time.

Day 1. As I fully expected, my shipmate Joachim loves the Noordam as much as I do...and I let him discover its charm on his own, without urging from me. He comments frequently on its 'civilized charm'...I call it Quiet Elegance. But no matter, I've spoiled him away from Carnival cruises forever.
In our enjoyment of the ambience and offerings I constantly remind him,
"Not bad for two guys out of work!" Amen, bro.
The sea is calm and the nice breeze ruffles my hair...the ONLY non-grey curls aboard the whole ship. And that's for Men AND Women.

Day 2. Sitting on the aft deck one morning, I saw Joachim come out laughing his butt off. "Did you guys really put a man on the moon? Or was that a hoax?" (Whaaat?) I was just starting to take offense to that crack...when he explained his amusement. He was at the coffee machine, which requires a passenger to a) put a cup beneath the downspout, and b) press the button to start the coffee flowing. Okaaayyy.
Jo witnessed this helpless geezer, waving his finger about and wailing, "Now how do I work this thing??" Completely defeated by newfangled technology.  Jo was reduced to tears...laughing uncontrolably. "Really? A man on the moon? Nahh." It took me forever to defend us geezers in the face of the tsunami of technological devices. Not only was Jo unimpressed with my testimony...but every time we took an elevator from that day on, he stood before the Up-Down buttons..finger extended..saying "Now how do I work this thing?"..and giggling uncontrolably. Grrr...

Day 3. The ship featured the film 'Argo' today, for our entertainment. How thoughtful of HAL. I had to walk out after 10 minutes or so..now get this..due to the torrent of profanity on screen. I can understand an occasional use of 'street talk' for emphasis..but not every second word.
Save that for the Men's Locker Room. Sorry Ben Affleck..y'lost me with that.

Days ongoing. The days pass uneventfully (Blessedly so) as the ship glides across the nautical miles. A half-mile wake trails behind the Noordam. Powerful engines churn up a trail of white bubbles, turning the sea behind us to a track of minty green color. Eventually, as we sail on, the dark blue water of the ocean recovers...and our wake is gone. As if we had never been there at all. How humbling! Here for the moment..Omnipotent. Gone in 30 minutes without a trace. Thank heavens there's a buffet to which I can retire to nurse my newly-found humilty. Lors, we each know our assigned roles: They set out (and refill) the buffet stations endlessly. I eat at those stations, endlessly.
God's in Her Heaven..All's Right with the World.

The Jacuzzi Incident. *(And this is testimony..under oath..with threat of Perjury at hand.) And Joachim will corroberate it too.
We were sitting on the aft deck one afternoon, near the adult pool and the 2 Jacuzzi hot tubs. Jo's eyebrows went archly skyward. As casually as I could, I turned slowly around to see what had caused such a startled reaction.
One of the two ladies in the hot tub was Totally Topless. She was attractive, drunk as a skunk and, as it turned out later, was naked as Eve herself before that 'Apple Incident'. She only emerged from the steaming waters enough to get her beer (on the ledge of the tub) but there she was..magnificently topless.  Her friend tried repeatedly to flag down the bar waiter to order more beers..but no such luck. Due to the clarity of the water (and her friends' nudity) it took each waiter 25 minutes (staring down) to explain why glass at the edge of the tub wasn't permitted. Each waiter then called Security...who also took 25 minutes (staring down into the clear water) to explain why nudity wasn't permitted. Despite rules and regs...nobody backed down.
She remained in the tub...flashing Lots of Skin. Eventually, out of beer, she retrieved her 'garment...and stood up to put it on...emerging smiling from her Garden of Eden performance. There was a round of applause from Jo and me.
I told him it was an additional amenity for him, so he wouldn't be lonely for Carnival Cruise Lines...where such things often happen.

Day 9. Jo was very observant to notice, "We've been sharing a cabin for almost 10 days...and we're still talking to each other. Amazing!"
I feel differently..Here's a guy who laughs at everything I say, is totally independant and never takes nips of my brandy! What a Prince!
(About whom else can I say this? Certainly not you!)
Hum along now; Not bad for two guys out of work....
And by this time you know of my admiration for Holland America's outstanding service performance. I take short showers for that reason...lest the Cabin Fairy burst in to start scribbing my back. They are extraordinary.

More days at sea. Seminars, history classes, activities are plentiful. Daily there are sessions on Microsoft Windows 8..(whatever THAT is) and it's listed on the daily Activity sheet as, "Introduction to Windows"...which Jo thought meant, "Introduction to Widdows" so he attended EVERY ONE, every day.
He's a rascal, that Jo.

Cadiz, Spain. We glide across calm seas into Cadiz, a jewel of a city. The setting sun casts a golden trail of light across the water, directly to my feet on Deck 3. Behind us is that half-mile trail of wake. It is a glorious moment. Even we geezers have little about which to complain. "Life IS Good."
I look skyward, "To Whomever is in charge...Thank You."
By whatever name you call your God is immaterial right now. Just appreciate that which we have before us. "Glorious" is an entirely apprpriate word.
Next time I hope you'll join us.

Malaga, Spain. Instead of sending your kid to Harvard or Princeton ($$$$) send them to some Spanish Mercado. "What's that?" you ask. It's the large
indoormarketplace found in every Spanish city and town. You have never seen so many species and varieties of natural marine creatures in one place..all sparking and fresh from the sea. Scallops, shrimps, crawfish,octapusses, lobsters and shark, cod, tuna etc. etc. Some the isze of your Gramma's Thanksgiving turkey. An incredibly diverse display and still dripping from the sea water where they slept last night. This is the place to study sea life..not Harvard. And when you're finished for the day..you can enjoy the paella.

The Last Day. A feeling of sadness. Tomorrow Rome and debarkation. Today I gaze toward the endless horizon..that unchanging view from every ship's railing since before Columbus..since the Phoenicians and Cathaginians. Calming. Uninterrupted. A perfect ending to a perfect cruise.